BDSM is a term that refers to a spectrum of sexual behaviours and preferences which fall into groups of bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism. Although many people think that BDSM is a highly kinky sexual preference which is only for the more adventurous, in some cases it doesn’t have to involve sex at all but refers to the mental connotations of some acts which are more of a turn-on.
Couples who indulge in BDSM tend to perform the acts in neutral, mutually consenting relationships where informed consent is of paramount importance. Since carrying out a BDSM act often involves varying degrees of pain, physical restraint and servitude, open communication and consent is vital beforehand.
If you are keen to explore, there is a whole range of fetish and kink beyond the more advanced dynamics, including preferences for particular smells or fabrics and forms of play which don’t revolve around exchanges of power. Being better for those in the beginner stages, rushing into spanking them or putting a dog chain around their neck and making them crawl around on all can be too much. While these might be considered kinky activities, if this kind of thing doesn’t float your boat, that is not to say BDSM is not for you.
If you do not know where to start when it comes to exploring BDSM, here are some popular sex toys to try out:
- Chastity belts
Once thought of as a medieval device, chastity belts are now very much a modern experience and when used correctly, they can be a playful or erotic way to help delay orgasm and make the wearer feel more pleasure when finally removed. For real control over you or your partners’ pleasure, chastity belts can be the ultimate bondage toy. Available for both men and women and can help delay or control orgasms, increasing the intensity the longer one is worn. Contrary to belief, they aren’t designed to control or dominate your partner as a sign of ownership, instead, they are used by couples as a fun way to spice up their sex lives and build up the sensation in between sex.
- Bondage rope
Being a firm favourite in the BDSM world, anything you can put a knot into will be classed as rope bondage, including ropes, scarves, neckties, or even get creative with dressing gown belts. If you’re a bondage beginner, make sure you don’t tie any rope bondage too tight and avoid putting pressure on pulse points. The primary purpose of using BDSM rope bondage is to keep the submissive in order and make sure they can’t escape from you, giving you full control over their pleasure.
- Ball and mouth gags
When wearing a BDSM gag, this increases arousal of the sub by suppressing your desire to moan and intensifying your helplessness, keeping your noisy submissive lovers’ moans muffled during bondage and adding an exciting edge to your role play. By restricting your ability to communicate, you rely heavily on your partner for pleasure. For the dominant, silencing your sub allows you to take control with no interruptions, and the hushed moans from the ball gag can enhance your arousal.